Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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