he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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