ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
