I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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