I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
