Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
