yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
that may or may not have been my penis.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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