i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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