He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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