Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
