Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
