Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
