It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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