She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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