Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
