If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
