this beer tastes like vomit already
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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