Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
