Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
