Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
