i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
