Nicole vs. Life
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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