love makes seman taste better
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
