No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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