Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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