I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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