Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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