1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
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