He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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