Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
pray to the hookup gods
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
