i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
