Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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