If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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