Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
