do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
