i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
