Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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