you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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