The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
