One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
