You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you would pick up someone in the library
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
