called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
