just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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