Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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