Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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