did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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