It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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