you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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