I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
