i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
