Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Drunk is not a location!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
