One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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