So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
