Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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